A Guiding Hand for Families in Special Care Nurseries - Digital - Book - Page 47
Special Care Nursery (SCN)
• Disappointment that your labour did not go to plan
• Guilt: “Should I have known that something was wrong?”
• Guilt that you didn’t carry your baby to term
• Loss and regret at not having the birth you had planned or wanted
• Trauma and distress at what you went through during labour and delivery
• Loss of the celebrations related to pregnancy and birth
• The loss of not being able to breastfeed, if this was your preference
• The loss of not holding/cuddling your baby straight after birth
• Anger that you have to sleep in your hospital room alone when other
parents can cuddle their baby at any time
• Confused – you are happy to see your baby, but not happy that they are
here under these circumstances.
It’s important to remember that everybody’s experience is different. There
are many things that affect a parent’s ability to cope with having a baby in
hospital, such as past experience, traumatic pregnancy and/or labour and
what support is available.
Differences in how parents and carers cope with grief
Grief is the natural reaction to loss. It is the normal and inevitable response
to loss, and it can affect every part of your life, including the loss associated
with having a premature/sick baby.
You may experience intense feelings such as sadness, anger, anxiety,
disbelief, panic, relief or even numbness. Everyone grieves in his or her own
way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. (See the table on the next
page for examples of how parents may grieve differently)
Effective strategies for coping
You need to be your own advocate. Looking after yourself is probably one
of the biggest gifts you can give your baby, as the healthier you are the
better you will be able to take care of baby.
Below are some strategies that are often helpful for dealing with the stress of
having a sick or premature baby:
• Maintain some type of routine
• Make time to get enough sleep and rest
Life’s Little Treasures Foundation | Supporting Families of Premature & Sick Babies
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